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Thread: Funnies

  1. #2701
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    16

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    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered..

    Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

    The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

    The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."

    The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

    Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

    "Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

    "Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

    "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious!"

  2. #2702
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Somerset West
    Posts
    275

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    Die seuntjie vra die juffrou om te help om sy skoene aan te trek. Sy probeer met ‘n gedruk en getrek om die vellies aan die kind se voete te kry.
    Teen die tyd wat sy by die tweede vellie kom, breek daar al ‘n lagie sweet op haar voorkop uit en begin haar hare al slierte hang soos sy stoei om die vellies aan die kind se voetjies te kry.
    Dis toe dat die mannetjie so tussen sy vier afwesige voortandjies sê: “Juffrou, hierie eerthte vellie ith aan die verkeerde voet.”
    Sy kyk en so wrintiewaar, die vellie ís aan die verkeerde voet. Die uittrek van die vellie aan die verkeerde voet gee nóg ‘n gespook af. Die juffrou hou kop en begin maar weer om die vellies aan die régtevoete aan te trek, steeds met een helske gesukkel.
    Amper klaar, kondig die mannetjie aan: “Juffrou hierie ith nie my vellieth nie.”
    Die juffrou ontplof byna, maar hou kop en sê kalm: “Hoekom het jy nie vroëer gepraat nie?”
    Die gestoei begin weer om die vellies uit tetrek. Pas is die vellies uit of meneertjie sê weer: “Dith my boetie the vellieth. My ma het gesê ek moet dit vandag dra want myne is weg.”
    Die juffrou sluk droog, skraap al haar moed bymekaar en begin weer stoei om die vellies aan die voetjies te sit. Uiteindelik is hulle weer aan die mannetjie se voetjies.
    Die mannetjie trek aan die juffrou se baadjie en vra verleë: “Juffrou,wat van my kouthe?”
    Juffrou skree: “Nou waar is jou kouse??!!”
    Die knapie antwoord: “Dith voor in my vellieth!”

  3. #2703
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Cape Town
    Posts
    9,090

    Default

    STRANGE AND AMAZING JOBS AROUND THE WORLD.
    http://thewildchild.co.za/need-a-new...ear-no-really/
    Korrie Broos

    Don't go knocking on Death's door, ring the bell and run like hell. He hates it. (anon)
    Nymphing, adds depth to your fly fishing.
    Nymphing, is fly fishing in another dimension

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