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Thread: The Ultimate Salwater Fly !

  1. #1

    Default The Ultimate Salwater Fly !

    After years of research into the feeding patterns of saltwater game fish and thousands of hours spent casting at them, I think I am qualified to say that I am a saltwater flyfishing expert ! While many will say that they have caught more species then I have (and perhaps one or two have) and many will say that they have caught larger fish then I have (this I seriously doubt), few can lay claim to my title of the Greatest Saltwater Flyfishing Exponent the World has ever known. Bearing this fact in mind, I would like to introduce you to the latest, cutting edge thinking in saltwater flyfishing and flytying.

    Many supposed experts will tell you that the bigger the fly the bigger the fish ! They will urge you to buy and cast larger and larger weight rods with larger and bulkier flies ! With 15wt rods, hundreds of meters of backing, fancy Elba reels with expensive cork drags and 12" Flashy Profiles you are bound to catch everything in the sea - BULLSH*T ! Most fish in the ocean are wising up to all our usual tactics and they are becoming harder and harder to catch using conventional flyfishing methods.

    Introducing the Finesse Method of saltwater flyfishing, or as many of my converted students prefer calling it: The LAMPERT Method ! What this method requires is a single fly fished using some unique tactics. The fly is ultra important and requires years of flytying expertise in order to master it's tying. Some of you may look at this fly at first and think it's a stock standard Flipper - you would be wrong. I prefer to call it the greatest fly in the world and on occasion the *WTFDTHG fly ! The careful choice of materials, selection of the correct hook and hook size plus the careful tying will produce a pattern that I guarantee you will take any fish in the sea including most species of zooplankton !

    Finally, the pattern you have all been waiting for:

    The Ultimate Saltwater Fly !
    28flipper1.jpg

    A standard 2/0 Flipper
    28flipper2.jpg

    A comparison with a standard staple
    28flipper3.jpg

    Hook: TMC 100 Size 28
    Thread: Danvilles Spiderweb
    Tail: 3 strands of Supreme Hair + 1 strand Crystal Flash
    Body: 0.5mm white foam

    To fish the fly, simply attach it to some 10X tippet and cast it at feeding bait fish using a 00000wt rod or lighter. You can either dead drift it and wait for the savage take or you can strip it back double-handed and wait for all hell to break loose. The dead drift method is preferred and requires a lot more practise and finesse. If the fish are being fussy or selective, you can tie on a size 32 Clouser behind it NZ style (obviously a technique named after some boastful New Zealander) using a foot of 12X tippet. Once the fish is hooked, the fight is normally short and sweet - with the fish laughing hysterically you simply net it or gaff it depending on it's size.

    I will be supplying this fly to all the South African Fly Shops (I have already had numerous orders from overseas) and Flycastaways in particular have just put in a massive order for them. I will also be teaching the LAMPERT method at a number of Saltwater Clinics to be held around the world.

    Good Luck and Tight Lines !

    * WTFDTHG = Where the **** Did That Hook Go
    “Apparently people don't like the truth, but I do like it; I like it because it upsets a lot of people. If you show them enough times that their arguments are bullshit, then maybe just once, one of them will say, 'Oh! Wait a minute - I was wrong.' I live for that happening. Rare, I assure you” ― Lemmy Kilmister

    Reap the Whirlwind - WM

    Paradise = A 3wt Rod & a fist full of someone else's #32 parachutes

  2. #2
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    Default wow

    wow you are the man - problem solved - lets go fishing

  3. #3
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    I would like to name this type of thread the Cynical Lampert Bollocks technique.

    Almost funny, but needs a bit of work.

    Needs something about it being a lure rather than a fly or something, and how it's not really a immitation of anything in particular. Oh ja, and maybe mention how it's the bait of choice for poachers...
    Last edited by gkieser; 17-06-07 at 02:46 PM.
    "So here’s my point. Don’t go and get your ego all out of proportion because you can tie a fly and catch a fish that’s dumb enough to eat a car key.." - Louis Cahill - Gink and Gasoline

  4. #4
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    ja and it's impregnated with Rotenone for prevention against alien invasion. (or infestation)

  5. #5
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    hahahahaha...TOUCHE Darryl, TOUCHE! Absolutely brilliant!!!
    Last edited by Chris Shelton; 17-06-07 at 05:58 PM.
    "Innocence is a wild trout. But we humans, being complicated, have to pursue innocence in complex ways" - Datus Proper

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by dlampert View Post
    If the fish are being fussy or selective, you can tie on a size 32 Clouser behind it NZ style (obviously a technique named after some boastful New Zealander) using a foot of 12X tippet.
    They call it Truck and Trailer in NZ strangly enough
    Fly-fishing surpasses the need to actually catch a fish, it becomes a mindset, and with time, an obsession.

    Lord,grant that I may catch a fish so big that even I,
    When speaking afterwards,
    May have no need to lie.
    Amen

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gael View Post
    They call it Truck and Trailer in NZ strangly enough
    Thanks Gael, just having a gentle poke at Grant
    “Apparently people don't like the truth, but I do like it; I like it because it upsets a lot of people. If you show them enough times that their arguments are bullshit, then maybe just once, one of them will say, 'Oh! Wait a minute - I was wrong.' I live for that happening. Rare, I assure you” ― Lemmy Kilmister

    Reap the Whirlwind - WM

    Paradise = A 3wt Rod & a fist full of someone else's #32 parachutes

  8. #8
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dlampert View Post
    Thanks Gael, just having a gentle poke at Grant
    NO worries, I'm hoping he comes to the Vaal for the B-side nationals so I can poke some fun at him in person
    Fly-fishing surpasses the need to actually catch a fish, it becomes a mindset, and with time, an obsession.

    Lord,grant that I may catch a fish so big that even I,
    When speaking afterwards,
    May have no need to lie.
    Amen

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gael View Post
    NO worries, I'm hoping he comes to the Vaal for the B-side nationals so I can poke some fun at him in person
    and a nicer guy to poke fun at you will never find.
    "Innocence is a wild trout. But we humans, being complicated, have to pursue innocence in complex ways" - Datus Proper

  10. #10
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    Darryl is taking orders for the next larkies comp session get yours now !!!!!

    /d
    What ever you do never confuse Fishing With catching Fish !!!!
    Fish Are Friends Not Food

    But your reasoning has a fatal flaw; it overlooks the fact that to comprehend it requires that one rub a few brain cells against each other. The heat thus generated produces the light that illuminates the fact, but alas, not everybody has the resource required to fuel the process --SG

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