Funnies

[Umhlangarox]

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for three years, and we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends
encouraged me, and my fiancie? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, and that was my mother-in-law to be.
She was a smart, confident career woman, but most of all she was
unbelievably sexy. She often openly flirted with me, which piqued my
curiosity and made me quite uncomfortable at the same time.

One day she called me and asked me to come over to review the wedding
invitations. When I got there, I realized she was alone. As we looked at
the invitations, she whispered in my ear: "Soon you will be married, but
you must know that I have feelings for you that I can no longer ignore.
Before you commit your life to my daughter, please make love to me just
once".

I was in total shock ....what could I say? As I sat there dumbfounded she
said: "I'll go to the bedroom, and if you share my yearnings, just come up
and take me."

Still dazed, I watched her magnificent form as she climbed the stairs. I
stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, and then turned around and
went to the front door. Slowly, I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

Incredibly, her husband was standing outside. With tears in his eyes, he
hugged me and said: "We are so happy. You have passed our little test. We
couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family."

I will never forget the day I earned the trust of my in-laws, nor the
valuable life lesson I learned on the front steps of my wife's childhood
home.........always, always, always, always, keep your condoms in your car.

[ebf]

Steve Irwin is baie opgewonde - hy hoor daar is n Groot Krokodil op pad

[MaXiMuM]

Steve Irwin is baie opgewonde - hy hoor daar is n Groot Krokodil op pad

That did'nt take long... Great Coment...

[Gogga]

http://media.putfile.com/Childs-funny-request

[cptfly]

EBF, good one

[Herman Jooste]

The young, aspiring Lawyer had a hot date lined up for the night. Her parents were going to the Opera and the house would be theirs!
After work the young man stops at the Pharmacy to purchase some condoms for the anticipated evening ahead. The Pharmacist tends to the young man himself, and noticing the excitement in his face says " hot date?" with a wink.
The young man just nods with a huge grin that says everything.
On arriving at his dates house her parents are just about to leave for the Opera as planned. The girl's father asks the young man if they would not like to join them at the Opera. To the lady's astonishment the boyfriend replies," We would love to".
Once in the boyfriends car she asks," I had no idea you liked the Opera", to which he replies' " I HAD NO IDEA YOU"RE DAD IS A PHARMACIST!"

[Gogga]

SUPERMARKET SCAM


Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out
shopping.

Simply going out to get shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.


Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously hot, good-looking 18 or 19-year-old blond girls come over to your car
as you are packing your shopping items into the boot. They both start
wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost
falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask
you for a ride to another supermarket. You agree and they get in the back
seat.

On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them
climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the
other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th,
20th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming
weekend, as soon as I can buy some more wallets.


All the best
Mike

[MaXiMuM]

SUPERMARKET SCAM

I’ve got plenty of wallets, when do you think they will start here...

[Chris Shelton]

http://media.putfile.com/Childs-funny-request

hahaha....that is just lovely! Brilliant one Mike!

[Umhlangarox]

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my ***! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts
Her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says, "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."